Getting trapped in the drama of our lives blinds us from reality and seeing the simplicity in the moment. As I'm writing this up on the rooftop deck of my friend's apartment complex, I'm amazed at the wonder of the day (pictures included). To my right is Lake Michigan and the sandy shore line that hugs it. Facing me, may be the view of John Hancock and the Magnificent Mile. A carpet of green trees and bright rooftops lay below. A blue sunny sky looms above. A white bikini clad young woman lies to my right, sunning on a black wrought iron chaise three chairs over. I possibly could observe easy it is always to be so trapped in the events of my life that even the serenity and wonderment of such views may be overshadowed by drama's stories, grieves and hurts.Dramacool
The difficult and painful events which have occurred in our past and our fears about the long run blurs our vision and keeps us stuck in a quagmire of deceit. So trapped are we in the drama of our lives that individuals sometimes neglect to notice how blue may be the sky or green will be the trees or so white may be the bikini. Our anatomies might physically be in the "here and now" but our minds definitely are not.
Drama binds us to days gone by and holds our future captive. We tend to think which our responses to recent events are based on present feelings when in fact they represent unfinished, unresolved and uncompleted emotions. We often don't observe that drama keeps us in the problem of days gone by in our present. Kept restricted to our dramas, we never heal and we never grow. What we can study on new experiences never present themselves because we dilute the lesson with drama.
An episode is really a deep and very personal story of what the "event" designed to us. It is definitely an engineered story of the "what is" by giving the "what is" an individual meaning. An example: imagine you're driving down the expressway at a secure speed. Someone in a low rider races behind you, quickly swerves to your lane and manages to cut you off before driving away. The reality of "what is" is that somebody is speeding and quickly swerves into your lane. The non-public story or drama that you simply created at the time may be "Exactly what a jackass! She must think I'm driving too slow and that I'm not a adequate driver. At this moment we take the event personally. Another reality: your better half walks away from the marriage. Your drama is: "I'm unworthy of love" or "I can't trust anybody anymore, I'll just get hurt again if I remarry."
How we can "grow" away from drama is to recognize the difference between what's reality and what's drama. The reality is just an event separate from any emotions (I got fired from my job / I got divorced). Drama is our personal story, the reason, we make-up of how the event affects us and what it means to our lives (My boss is really a real jackass / I'm unlovable). We always want to create meaning in everything that happens in our lives. Healing and growing starts by understanding the difference between what's reality and what's fiction and then just accepting the event since it is (I no further have a job) with no drama.
I know easier said then done. Often times it's in the story and the private meaning behind it that produces life interesting but once the story repeats itself time and time again in an endless cycle, the event never dies. It consistently repeats itself in similar situations even with years of the initial occurrence; old feelings of hurt are resurrected. (I text her but she didn't text back. She must not like me and anyone who doesn't text me right me straight away later on should also mean they don't love me as well. Love blows!). Drama doesn't allow us to grow into mature experienced adults rather we remain emotionally stagnant at this it's occurrence.
The dramas in our lives are produced by made-up untrue beliefs while denial shrouds the actual issues. We reach awaken from the drama once we accept the fact that we have the best capacity to turnaround our lives. If we have the ability to create negative thoughts and emotions then we're also able to produce a positive spin on the same event. Change thinking and emotions into something positive which will empower us and inspire others and consequently we reach get back control in our lives. By accepting the event as what it's will free us from the emotional bond since it demonstrates that only our jobs or relationships are ending and not our lives. This can be done by writing out a list of what's happening without attaching the emotions related to it. In the case of losing work your list might include:
1. I have been fired
2. I no further have work
3. I must find a new job
4. I don't have any income
5. I have little savings
After reading over your notes and removing most of the drama or unworthiness, fear, blame and guilt can disappear. The reality have presented itself in ways as you are able to address each issue to create solutions that you can now handle and benefit from. Acceptance will allow you to detach from the drama so you will have a way to see your lifetime separate from the emotions as fear and any negativity is washed away. You feel an outside observer in the events letting you effectively, clearly and without the judgments control of one's reactions and your life.
In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, acceptance is one of many big creeds that allow its members to higher handle their lives. Inside, it states: "Acceptance is the solution to any or all my problems today. When I'm disturbed, it is basically because I find some person, place or thing, or situation -some fact of my life- unacceptable if you ask me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being the way it's allowed to be only at that moment."
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